Sleep training methods compared: Ferber, chair, pick up put down, fading and extinction

There are really only five sleep training methods. Everything with a brand name is one of these, or a mix of two. Once you can see them side by side, choosing becomes much less stressful, because the question is no longer "which one works" (they all can) but "which one can we do the same way for a week."

The five methods at a glance

Research has compared most of these directly. The consistent finding is that graduated extinction, full extinction and bedtime fading all improve sleep, with none shown to harm attachment or emotional development. The gentler methods take longer and ask more of the parent's stamina. The faster methods ask more of the parent's nerve.

Ferber method (graduated extinction)

You put your baby down awake. If they cry, you wait a set number of minutes, go in for a brief, calm check-in without picking up, and leave. The waits get longer through the night and across nights. Our full guide to the Ferber method has the chart and the details.

Good fit if you want something structured and fairly quick, and you want to keep showing up for your baby while they learn. This is the most studied method and the one the Sleep Sanity app is built around.

Hard if your check-ins make the crying worse rather than better. Some babies calm down when they see you. Others get more upset, and for them full extinction or the chair method can be kinder overall.

Full extinction (cry it out)

You do the bedtime routine, put your baby down awake, say goodnight and do not go back in until a feed you have planned or until morning. It sounds brutal, and the first night can be, but it is also the fastest method in most studies, often with less total crying over the week than the gradual approaches because it ends sooner.

Good fit if check-ins clearly wind your baby up, and both parents are confident they will not go in at the 40 minute mark and undo the night.

Hard if you have thin walls, a sibling who wakes, or you are simply not comfortable with it. Discomfort is a perfectly good reason to choose something else.

The chair method (camping out)

You sit in a chair next to the crib while your baby falls asleep. You can talk softly or shush, but you do not pick up. Every two or three nights you move the chair further away, until you are at the door and then outside it. Over one to three weeks you fade yourself out of the room.

Good fit if you want to stay present and your baby is soothed, rather than stimulated, by having you there.

Hard if your baby keeps standing up and reaching for you, or if you find it almost impossible to sit still while they cry. Many parents find this harder than leaving the room.

Pick up put down

When your baby cries, you pick them up until they calm, then put them down again, as many times as it takes. This is the method most often recommended for younger babies because it involves very little crying at first.

Good fit if your baby is under 6 months, or you want the gentlest possible start.

Hard if your baby is older. Past about 6 months, being picked up every few minutes tends to be stimulating rather than calming, and the method can drag on for weeks. If you are at pick up number 30 at midnight, it may be time for a different approach.

Bedtime fading

You temporarily move bedtime to the time your baby actually falls asleep, even if that is 9pm. Once they are falling asleep within 15 minutes of being put down, you move bedtime 15 minutes earlier every couple of nights until you reach the time you want. It works by building up sleep pressure so the crib stops being a place to protest.

Good fit if your main problem is a long bedtime battle rather than night wakes, and you want to minimise crying.

Hard if you are already desperate for an earlier evening. The first week makes evenings longer, not shorter. It also does little for night wakes on its own, so it is often combined with one of the other methods.

How to choose

Three questions settle it for most families:

1. How does your baby react to you being in the room while upset? Calms down: chair method or Ferber. Gets angrier: Ferber with voice only check-ins, or full extinction.
2. How much time do you have? A week with both parents available: Ferber or extinction. A month of patience: chair or pick up put down.
3. What can you both do the same way every night? This matters more than the method. The research on why sleep training fails points to inconsistency far more often than to the wrong method.

Whatever you pick, fix the day first. A baby put down too early or too late for their age will fight any method. Check wake windows by age and the wake window calculator before night 1.

What the methods share

Every method that works has the same bones. A consistent bedtime routine. Baby put down awake. The same response from both parents at every waking. A log, even a rough one, so you judge progress by the week and not by last night. The method you choose decides how you respond to crying. The bones decide whether it works.

FAQ

Which sleep training method is the most gentle?

Bedtime fading and pick up put down involve the least crying, and the chair method keeps you in the room throughout. They take longer, usually one to three weeks instead of under a week. Gentle and fast tend to pull in opposite directions.

Which sleep training method works fastest?

Full extinction is typically fastest, with most studies showing clear improvement within two to four nights. The Ferber method is a close second at three to seven nights. The gradual methods take one to three weeks.

Is cry it out different from the Ferber method?

Yes. Cry it out means no check-ins at all. The Ferber method has timed check-ins that grow longer, so your baby is never left indefinitely. The two are often lumped together, which is where a lot of the fear about the Ferber method comes from.

Can you mix sleep training methods?

You can combine bedtime fading with any of the others, because it fixes timing rather than response. Mixing responses, for example chair method one night and Ferber the next, tends to confuse the baby and slow everything down. Pick one response and keep it for at least a week.

What age can you start sleep training?

Most pediatricians are comfortable with a gentle method from 4 months and with Ferber or extinction from 5 to 6 months. When to start sleep training goes through the readiness signs.

Sources

• Mindell JA et al. Behavioral treatment of bedtime problems and night wakings in infants and young children. Sleep, 2006
• Gradisar M et al. Behavioral interventions for infant sleep problems: a randomized controlled trial. Pediatrics, 2016
• Price AM et al. Five year follow up of harms and benefits of behavioral infant sleep intervention. Pediatrics, 2012
• American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org: Getting your baby to sleep
• Canadian Paediatric Society, Caring for Kids: Healthy sleep for your baby and child